My Grandma's Arrest
To all J-dawgs fan, it is the one and only Pigsasauras here, doing my next guest blog. Before, I start I'd like to just clear up any conlfliction with K-dawgs tragic accident before hate sights pop up all over the internet.
I have no control over my door frames' where abouts and it has been there long before Kenny moved in and as I was partying in another flat at this point hold no responsibility. However, I do send my best wishes, hoping he makes a speedy and safe recovery in order to party for his birthday in June.
I have been picked as the next guest blogger as I have an interesting/worrying tale to tell you all regarding my maternal Grandmother's antics.
I will take you back to last Friday, I was sitting at my desk with my revision in front of me looking at the mountains and debating if it was a good idea to hit the student union night know as Tooters. J-dawg II was lucky enough to have finished her exams that afternoon and so was rushing around Langland distracting other people and persuading them to come out with her. I could hear the confusion outside my door and then I received a knock. At the door was the equally blonde G-shady, who strolled in and informed me of her decision to Toot that evening.
As I sat on my desk, I thought about the 3 pending exams I had the following Monday - Wednesday but as I thought that, another thought came to my head... YOLO!!!!
As these yolo-ing thoughts were going through my head, my mobile phone started to ring, on the phone was my Mum.
'Darling, the most awful thing has happened'. I could sense the distress/humour in her voice.
I will now inform you of the content of that darkened phone call. I shall set another scene, Thursday night in suburban Manchseter, a small blonde woman (approx. 4''11) was out to dinner with her boyfriend and at this dinner she had a glass of white wine. This woman, is my Gran and her idea of a 'glass of wine' is not the same as the average person's idea of a 'glass of wine' and is closer to half a bottle.
As she came home from dinner that evening, she had another social event to go to, a birthday party at her friend Barbara's, as Pamela made her way over to Barbara's in her little green car, she was apparently hesitating and swerving as she drove. As a result of this, she was pulled over by the Police.
She was asked to get into the back of the van and asked how much she had been drinking, clearly drunk she giggled and replied 'a glass of wine... or two!!'
Concerned about her driving abilities, she was informed she would have to be breathalised. Unable to stop giggling out of nerves, she asked 'What was going to happen to her? And where am I going to go?'
She was told that if she were found over the limit (which was very likely) she would have to go to Cheadle Hulme police station in a cell over night. She then replied, 'I'm going to a party tonight, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to do that'. They informed her it was the law and that were the correct procedures that had to be followed. She replied saying, she would be having a 'pot of tea' at the party and so there was no problem and could she go or she was going to be late.
Luckily, there was a problem with the breatheliser equipment and they had to wait 50 minutes in the police car for another car to come with the correct equipment. I did question what else the Police could've been doing with their time whilst they were keeping a 76 year old woman captive in their car but that's a question for Scotland Yard and ultimately David Cameron.
Finally, the equipment arrived however out of nerves, my Gran was unable to do it. She was given four attempts, and still couldn't do it. The policewoman informed her that if she couldn't do it on her next go, she would be arrested. Not surprisingly, she couldn't do it and the police said with much regret they would have to take her to a cell.
Getting rather hysterical now, she asked for one more go, they reluctantly agreed and she left herself have 15 minutes to prepare. By this time she had been there an hour and a half and she was in fact on the limit.
The police let her go, with a formal warning to be impended on her record and a recomendation of not to drive after 6pm due to her low skills.
My mum, finding the whole ordeal just as hilarious, informed my Gran she had to go and tell my Uncle immediately. As I receieved calls from various cousins and uncles/aunties, it was decided her car keys be confiscated from her for the next 2 weeks, a punishment allowing her to think about her careless behaviour, endangering herself and others.
The last time I spoke to my Gran, she was infact driving whilst on the phone.. and it was 9pm...
Some people don't learn their lessons, K-dawg this blog applies to you also.. - don't drink and drive, don't drink and show off taiquando moves.
Peace out j-dawg fans and keep safe
xoxoxox
Love Pigs x